While starting a new relationship can be full of excitement, one should consider watching for any behaviors that could signal deeper issues. Here are 15 red flags to look out for that she might not be the right one for you:
- Avoids Defining the Relationship
But she is also ambiguous about defining the relationship or bringing up the future. She can be extremely ambiguous and therefore make you hang in there on a thin string. Commitment is what is needed in a relationship to forge ahead. If she is not ready for it, it can be a sign that she’s not seriously into building the relationship, which eventually creates a one-sided relationship where your needs and desires will not be met. - Always the Victim
In every story of her wrath against past relationships, she tells how she had been unjustly treated and the fault is all on the exes. While everyone can have a bad experience, if she carries on with refusals or not admits once that the problem could also in part be her responsibility, then actually there is lack of self-awareness or unwillingness to learn from past mistakes. - No Long-term Friendships
She has no relationships with anyone from her past, be it friends or acquaintances, as she believes they were all fake or did something bad to her. Though it is normal for friendships to change with time, if she has no long-term relationships and speaks ill about everyone from her past, that could just implicate an inability to ever develop fruitful long-term relationships. - Has Something Bad to Say About Everyone
Even the people to whom she currently attaches herself are not safe, though. With an overflow of words, she nearly always finds something to tell other people in a devaluating manner—friends, colleagues, and acquaintances—from the worst sheds. If she actually finds a reason to talk badly about all friends, then this actually could resemble either the absence of loyalty or a developed tendency to arrange drama where there is no room for this. This kind of trait deems that if she is willing to talk bad about someone to you, then she is probably doing the same to them about you and this type of behavior will just breed toxicity into the relationship. - Devalues Your Feelings
She devalues your feelings and opinions and continually creates a feeling that you are unworthy or not understood. Empathy and understanding, both nurtured by a good relationship, are easily overpowered. If, in fact, she continually dismisses your issue or minimizes your feelings, this is a warning indicator that she may not be up to the job to continue with the emotional supportive and connectedness that a good, satisfying partnership requires. - Thrives on Drama
Very often, she may engage in drama or conflicts—be it with friends, family, or even strangers. If her life is full of it and she often blames others for it, it would mean she loves drama or has a problem with conflict resolution in a constructive manner. This may bring unnecessary stress and instability into your relationship. - Inconsistent Communication
She’s inconsistent in communicating: sometimes very responsive, while other times unreachable. Sometimes this inconsistency can make someone feel insecure about the relationship. Consistent communication is the core of any healthy relationship. If she’s not consistent with communication, it could very well imply that she is not interested or is trying not to give too much importance to you. - Doesn’t Want to Meet Your People
She avoids meeting your friends and family, or is shy to introduce you to hers. This may be a sign that she is not so much into the relationship or she has something to hide. Of course, this is one of the big steps of the relationship, meeting other close circles and being hesitant about it means that she is not thinking towards the long term. - They are Envious and Controlling
The symptom here is that she is often jealous, questioning many of your interactions with other people and trying to control with whom you spend time. A little jealousy would be healthy, but excessive jealousy and being controlling are both red flags and would make this relationship head in the toxic and suffocating direction. It may be a sign of insecurity or wanting to dominate the relationship. - Unreliable and Flaky
She is often always canceling on plans or making promises but then never fulfilling them. This can be really irritating and even painful, so it’s very difficult to learn how to rely completely upon someone. A partner who is so prone to flaking will not place value on time well spent or on the value of the relationship itself; thus, unreliability can lead to instability and lack of dependability in a partner. - Obsessed with Materialism
She’s too interested in material stuff and frequently focuses more on gifts or money a guy has to offer than emotional togetherness. It’s quite normal for everyone to enjoy the nice things in life but the over-emphasis on them may obscure some other important things in a relationship like trust, love, and mutual respect. - Avoids Deep Conversations
There are times when she does not respond to serious topics, be it about the future with you, personal issues, or values. If she isn’t allowing you to get deep with her, it’s a refusal to either grow closer with you or deal with pertinent issues. This impedes proper emotional intimacy in a good relationship. - Keeps You at Arm’s Length
She shares very little about her personal life, so you are left in the dark where her thoughts, feelings, and experiences are concerned. This distance is what may keep the relationship from flourishing. A woman who holds back could be protecting herself, or she may not be quite ready to let you into her life, but it could also be very frustrating and lonely for you. - Inconsistent Behavior
Her character changes according to whatever mood she is in or the people she is with, which makes it kind of hard to figure out who she really is. This breeds confusion in relationships and an element of untrustworthiness. If she’s not being real with you, she might be hiding something or not even sure of herself, all of which spell trouble in a relationship. - Lacks Independence
Either she is too dependent on you for even the smallest emotional bruise, making decisions, or, worse still, for finances, and does not show zeal towards dealing with these spheres of life on her own. While mutual support is indispensable in any relationship, too much dependence does moot an unhealthy growth of codependence that could be corrosive over time.
Being aware of these red flags right from the start of the relationship would help you in making informed decisions. Do this with confidence in your instincts, without an ounce of fear about placing the priority on your emotional well-being. If these signs sound way too familiar, then it may be time to reassess this relationship and whether or not it is really right for you.
